Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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