brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
