sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I need a beard to bite.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
