Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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