Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
