Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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