for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
