Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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