She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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