Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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