im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
