let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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