She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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