I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So vagazzling was a success
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
