She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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