I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We left an ass print on the piano.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
