Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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