I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
