My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
