Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
