i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You have to summon your inner elephant
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize