This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
