so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My bed smells like the plague
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
