you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
