whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
