It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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