yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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