I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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