piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize