You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
