it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
