Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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