your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
