Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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