I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
