drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize