I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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