you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
