just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
