She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
