Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
