fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
