Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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