Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
