I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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