these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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