i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
