I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
