Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
