Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
