i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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