im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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