he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize