We are two peas in an std pod
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
please don't ironically join a cult
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