so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
