Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
