sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize