I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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