I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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