he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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