it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
