So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
