ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
