He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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