Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
