you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
